About Friends..

It seems that over the past few years the topic of friendship has been on my mind a lot..

Having friends should be easy, right?  I mean throughout our years in school we have tons of friends, but upon entering adulthood they wisp away.  And yes, this is normal because we're all coming into ourselves and creating our own lives and Lord knows I have many days where after work and school I really just don't want to be around anyone but what I'm wondering is...

Exactly how long do you go between spending time with someone before you and that person "used to be" friends?

I have handfuls of friends who I was close with in High School and the first few years preceding it who I now don't speak to at all.  Many of these friends I would be glad to run into, but then there are many who I would probably groan at having to stop and chat with if we ran into each other in Target.

Then I have those friends who I can go for months, maybe even a year without seeing and when I'm reunited with them it's like no time has passed. 

Then there are the friends I thought I was really close with.  One whom I grew up with and get choked up about remembering how we spent years in sleepovers talking till morning about boys and how our life would be when we grew up. She and I were close from 2nd grade till we graduated high school, and I feel we have maintained our friendship since then, going to lunch..seeing each other at bbqs and whatnot.. She got married a few months ago, I think it was a big wedding.  I wasn't invited.  Of course I'm happy for her but all I can think about is how this summer she relayed the story of how he asked her in vivid detail.. So why wasn't I invited?  This just makes me wonder..what kind of friends are we?

I lost one friend this year to family circumstance and one to "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me".  Sometimes it's best to let people go..

And of the people you have to let go.. what about those you would love to be friends with but who never call? How fun is it to be in a friendship when you're always the ones making plans, and organizing. Shouldn't friends make the effort to spend time with you too?


Like the handful of close girlfriends I used to have who still get together... I have a lingering suspicion I'm not invited to their parties or nights out because I don't really drink and they all do.  But isn't that a silly reason?  And if that's what they value then should I really sweat it? 

I have many valuable relationships in my life that I would not trade for ANYTHING.  But the fact is I do not have close friends who I spend valuable time with, and this makes me sad sometimes.  Is it just growing up?  Am I not fun unless I'm drinking?  Do I need to just continue being the perpetual planner?  I don't really have a conclusion on this one...

The flouncy-bouncy Running Goddess who got my butt moving!

Never have I been a runner...

I mean really...in school I would dread the "mile" days... days in advance!! 

(**Relevant middle school mile-running memory-- Once we had to run a group mile.  Four or five people to a group, everyone holding on to an outstretched jump rope.  Little ole Amanda was at the end of the rope.  This meant 4 of my 90lb. friends pulling me around the track and softball fields like a truck stuck in the snow.  It was my fastest mile run ever... )

So sometime last spring I started walking around my college campus in an attempt to lose some lb's, and every day this light and fit ponytail bouncing CREATURE would run past me every day. 

She looked something like this:


mmmm hhmmm...  go ahead and add your comments..I felt the same way!!  Just looking at her made my thighs feel like they were rubbing together more than usual. 

But instead of getting down on myself...I set a goal.  I was going to start running.  And little by little I started!

The first few days were torture.  My feet and calves were sore, and I felt like I was being dragged at the end of that jump rope again.  But every day that skinny running chick flounced past me and it made me want to keep at it even MORE!  I was so surprised at my progress within the course of only two weeks.  I could run for 15-20 minutes at a time..something I honestly thought I would never be able to accomplish!!

And while I've spent the last year going through stages of running every day for a few weeks or so and then dropping it for a few weeks... I haven't exactly seen the steady process that I was hoping for BUT when I am in a running stage I DO see and feel changes.  And they're good ones!  Another benefit is that even after I haven't ran for 3 weeks I can step out my door and run for 20 minutes without feeling the tug of that dreaded jump rope!

Each time I run I think of that bounding runner babe who I switched from wanting to slap to wanting to run after!! (Seriously..If I ran directly behind her and used her firm booty to motivate mine maybe I could run longer...but it may also creep her out so..)  Shes a complete stranger but she was my motivation and it's because of her that I've been able to get up off my jiggly ass! 

I ran for 3 weeks in November..took two weeks off..and ran for 22 minutes today.  I'm proud of myself! :)  And although I could do a MUCH better of keeping up with my new regime, I'm farther ahead that I ever thought I could be..and all because I glimpsed someone just doing their thing.  I hope somebody somewhere has seen me and been inspired to try something new too!

When Toilet Paper Hurts Feelings

Tonight on my way home I noticed a house on my street adorned with the unmistakable stamp of pre-teen sorrows...or at least that's what it was for me.  Wet, sticky, stuck-to-the-branches toilet paper hung from the highest branches of the largest tree in their yard.  Toilet paper that (let's face it) isn't coming down for awhile, and will stand as a reminder to it's victim of the night he was TP'ed.

Instead of my usual initial thought of "oh..that sucks",  I was somehow sucked into the vortex of my Middle School memories.  (I've noticed this happening a lot since I started working at a middle school so prepare to hear lots of great stuff from my angsty, boy-crazy archives!!)

Let me tell ya, it's no fun having your dad wake you up in the middle of the night (on a few separate occasions) to come outside and see those long white strands of buttpaper dangling from your tree, draped over your bushes, and wound around the pillars of your front walkway...discovering the name of your crush written all over your driveway in pink sidewalk chalk, and having to stand out there in the cold cleaning the mess up..  sound dramatic?  Stay with me, it happened and it happens to pre-teens a lot!

And the girls who did this to me weren't kidding anyone.  They could giggle and shush each other all the wanted at school the next week but obviously upon hearing their sleepover stories I knew who the culprits were.  (Backstabbing Girl Scouts...)  And yea it sounds a little pathetic but being a 6th grade girl and knowing that a group of your friends chose you to keep a big, fun, vandalizing secret from didn't feel good.  Not only that!  Oh no..there was also the fact that these were the girls you hung out with during and after school every day, some of these girls were your best friends..and they certainly didn't stick up for you when the other girls were deciding who to TP!  And there's MORE!!  Sixth graders do not spend their own money on toilet paper, and they certainly don't hop in their own SUV's to drive down to your house at 1am!  There's parents involved!!  Parent's who made you pizza rolls after school and asked how your family was.  EVIL!!! 

So yea the cleaning and betrayal sucked but honestly the worst part was hearing about the fun time all of your friends had at the party, and knowing the simple fact that you weren't invited.  You missed out, and your friends didn't want you there..they wanted to TP your damn house!!

From then on there were a few times when I was invited to TP someones house with a friend, and my Dad never let me.  I was upset about it then but I'm glad for it now, and when I become someones Mom, I'm probably not going to let them do it either.  I can understand if your an adult and want to prank some friends, that's probably ok because your not dealing with someone at an impressionable age, prone to those woe-is-me feelings.  But maybe even then try something more creative, that still packs a punch but is easier to clean up...like plastic forks...or flamingos!

So to the kid down the street, I feel ya!  And for those high branches the rake is your best friend. :)