About Friends..

It seems that over the past few years the topic of friendship has been on my mind a lot..

Having friends should be easy, right?  I mean throughout our years in school we have tons of friends, but upon entering adulthood they wisp away.  And yes, this is normal because we're all coming into ourselves and creating our own lives and Lord knows I have many days where after work and school I really just don't want to be around anyone but what I'm wondering is...

Exactly how long do you go between spending time with someone before you and that person "used to be" friends?

I have handfuls of friends who I was close with in High School and the first few years preceding it who I now don't speak to at all.  Many of these friends I would be glad to run into, but then there are many who I would probably groan at having to stop and chat with if we ran into each other in Target.

Then I have those friends who I can go for months, maybe even a year without seeing and when I'm reunited with them it's like no time has passed. 

Then there are the friends I thought I was really close with.  One whom I grew up with and get choked up about remembering how we spent years in sleepovers talking till morning about boys and how our life would be when we grew up. She and I were close from 2nd grade till we graduated high school, and I feel we have maintained our friendship since then, going to lunch..seeing each other at bbqs and whatnot.. She got married a few months ago, I think it was a big wedding.  I wasn't invited.  Of course I'm happy for her but all I can think about is how this summer she relayed the story of how he asked her in vivid detail.. So why wasn't I invited?  This just makes me wonder..what kind of friends are we?

I lost one friend this year to family circumstance and one to "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me".  Sometimes it's best to let people go..

And of the people you have to let go.. what about those you would love to be friends with but who never call? How fun is it to be in a friendship when you're always the ones making plans, and organizing. Shouldn't friends make the effort to spend time with you too?


Like the handful of close girlfriends I used to have who still get together... I have a lingering suspicion I'm not invited to their parties or nights out because I don't really drink and they all do.  But isn't that a silly reason?  And if that's what they value then should I really sweat it? 

I have many valuable relationships in my life that I would not trade for ANYTHING.  But the fact is I do not have close friends who I spend valuable time with, and this makes me sad sometimes.  Is it just growing up?  Am I not fun unless I'm drinking?  Do I need to just continue being the perpetual planner?  I don't really have a conclusion on this one...