Do you work with the public? Well suck it up and smile!!!

I've held my fair share of jobs where I had to deal with the public on a semi-personal level for most of the day.  And I get it.  Sometimes it's ROUGH.  You're dealing with all walks of life and you can be pretty damned sure someone is going to be rude to you or rub you the wrong way.  I'm a semi-expert on this because I've worked at:
Macys = dealing with 'The Mall' public.. where some lady at the register turned to me and told me to stop smiling at her, and where I also experienced human fecal mater thrown atop a mirror in the dressing room.
Mens Formal Wear Promoter at bridal shows = I tried to rope brides-to-be and their mothers and friends into booking our formal wear store for their wedding.  Can you say, bridezillas??
Receptionist at recreational Gymnastics = When the parents wanted to complain, many times they complained to me.  I also had to sit behind a desk and listen to various "momversations" in the lobby.
Coach at recreational Gymnastics = When a parent was complaining, they were complaining about me.  Of course not all the time but trust me that it's never the lack of talent or drive in a child, it's always the coaches fault.
Starbucks Barista = coffee people.  you can only imagine what the masses are like when they need their coffee and something went wrong with their drink or their order.  I also got yelled at by a lady for serving her daughter caffeine... when her daughter came in and ordered a drink.  "Shes only a child!!!" the mother screamed at me about her 12 year old slurping on a Frappuccino.  There was also a lady who pooped all over our womens bathroom then came to the counter to tell us that she "vomited... I think I'm pregnant!"...she had to be 65.

So yea, I know.  As experience dictates, the public can be crazy, disheartening, gross, and rude. (And it will inevitably involve poop in some way.) I'm doing what I do now because I DON'T have to work with the public in that sort of way.  But let me tell you a little secret that helped me in the behind-a-counter world as well as the world of kids with special needs.  YOU WILL ALWAYS CATCH MORE FLIES WITH HONEY THAN WITH VINEGAR!!

Now don't get me wrong.  Sometimes some sass on my part was definitely effective and necessary.  But that's after my "I'm-being-an-oh-so-polite-girl smile" was wiped away by some asshole.  And yes, oftentimes it was hard to keep that smile and kind demeanor, like when a starbucks customer we called "the princess" would call in her drink order twice a day and come in and pick them up straight from the bar because she "didn't do lines." 

What I'm trying to say here is that I feel like I've payed my dues to the world of serving the public in that sort of atmosphere, I faced some adversity and nastiness but I was able to suck it up and smile because for every crotchety customer I had there were ten in line behind them that were perfectly pleasant, and some even startled at being treated so kindly.  So I ask you, public, why is it so hard for so many people standing behind counters, "serving" the public to have even a hint of courtesy??

I was helped by a lady at the post office yesterday who was so rude to me I left the place in a sea of fury and curse words.  (I came back today and a new lady helped me who was more than kind and got the job done the first lady should have been able to do easily, and without the snark.)  Then later that evening at Walgreens, I payed for my items with a lady at the check stand who couldn't smile or look me in the face.  I had to come back a few minutes later to return a hair dye kit I purchased that was missing a few tools.  When I grabbed a new set I discovered ANOTHER box that was missing things, so I brought that one up to her at the counter as well so someone else wouldn't buy it.  I didn't get a smile, a nod, a "thank you", or an "I'm sorry about that" for my troubles.  And after having two negative experiences like that in one day..I was pissed!

So, while I could say this in a snarky, asshole way, I'm instead going to make an example out of my polite proclamation:

If you work with the public, and you're frustrated with the people around you.  Try a smile and or a pleasantry, and the public will give back.  We're all people, none of us want to be treated badly, on either side of the register/counter/exchange/conversation.  So please, suck it up and smile.  And remember: Everybody poops.

About Friends..

It seems that over the past few years the topic of friendship has been on my mind a lot..

Having friends should be easy, right?  I mean throughout our years in school we have tons of friends, but upon entering adulthood they wisp away.  And yes, this is normal because we're all coming into ourselves and creating our own lives and Lord knows I have many days where after work and school I really just don't want to be around anyone but what I'm wondering is...

Exactly how long do you go between spending time with someone before you and that person "used to be" friends?

I have handfuls of friends who I was close with in High School and the first few years preceding it who I now don't speak to at all.  Many of these friends I would be glad to run into, but then there are many who I would probably groan at having to stop and chat with if we ran into each other in Target.

Then I have those friends who I can go for months, maybe even a year without seeing and when I'm reunited with them it's like no time has passed. 

Then there are the friends I thought I was really close with.  One whom I grew up with and get choked up about remembering how we spent years in sleepovers talking till morning about boys and how our life would be when we grew up. She and I were close from 2nd grade till we graduated high school, and I feel we have maintained our friendship since then, going to lunch..seeing each other at bbqs and whatnot.. She got married a few months ago, I think it was a big wedding.  I wasn't invited.  Of course I'm happy for her but all I can think about is how this summer she relayed the story of how he asked her in vivid detail.. So why wasn't I invited?  This just makes me wonder..what kind of friends are we?

I lost one friend this year to family circumstance and one to "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me".  Sometimes it's best to let people go..

And of the people you have to let go.. what about those you would love to be friends with but who never call? How fun is it to be in a friendship when you're always the ones making plans, and organizing. Shouldn't friends make the effort to spend time with you too?


Like the handful of close girlfriends I used to have who still get together... I have a lingering suspicion I'm not invited to their parties or nights out because I don't really drink and they all do.  But isn't that a silly reason?  And if that's what they value then should I really sweat it? 

I have many valuable relationships in my life that I would not trade for ANYTHING.  But the fact is I do not have close friends who I spend valuable time with, and this makes me sad sometimes.  Is it just growing up?  Am I not fun unless I'm drinking?  Do I need to just continue being the perpetual planner?  I don't really have a conclusion on this one...